Six months ago today, my mom died of brain cancer. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Usually it feels like it's been years. I am still occasionally surprised by a myriad of raw emotions at any random moment. These moments remind me that nothing is permanent.
Before mom died, I had become comfortable with looking at my life from an orderly lens. It was easier for me to give my loved ones labels and define my worth in certain terms. My system kept things manageable and under the illusion of control. Today, without compartmentalizing, I am more susceptible to vulnerability. I am grateful for the opportunity to explore this aspect of myself. These days, when I have a hurricane in my belly or my heart starts thumping out of my chest, I know it's time to go through my fear instead of around it.
My mom's life and death taught me that my true path is before me and it is also within me. I need to stay quiet and open so that I can listen to my heart better. Then I can walk the path with clarity and trust that the rest is unfolding as it will for my soul's evolution. Mom taught me long ago that choosing gratitude would never fail me. Her destiny woke me up and I will be forever grateful.
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