Turn Grief into Loving Action.

It's been two weeks since the presidential election. Over the past two weeks I've been feeling an overwhelming sense of loss and depression much like the way I felt when my mom died. But this time, it doesn't feel personal to me because I see it in the eyes of so many people that I come in contact with every day. People are genuinely hurting, and not just the people that voted for Hillary— Everyone. If you are still grieving, give yourself time to move through that. I feel I gave myself a lot of time and then my grief started to take on a shape that I wasn't proud of and that wasn't productive for anyone. It wasn't helpful for me, it wasn't helpful for the people grieving beside me and it certainly wasn't helpful for the people I now intend to reach. An immediate, good thing that as come out of this election is that we can no longer ignore the fact that this country needs some attention and we all need to discover a new way of being. We are all waking up. If Hillary were our president elect, I don't know that we would be so fired up to make things better. Her win would've allowed us to keep focusing on ourselves. For those that voted for her, it would've confirmed our egos were right and it likely would have created further separation. Now, we have no choice but to be the people we were meant to be. I can talk a lot about loving others, especially when it's hard, but now I have to do that. It's time to practice what I preach. Practicing love, compassion and empathy is not the same thing as dissociation and complacency. We can still love, not agree and do our best to contribute to a better world. So this is not the time to settle down and let things sink in. This is not the time to be quiet about what is happening. But trying to find the balance of being truthful about what we're feeling and still being kind and loving is necessary. And I know that will not be easy for everyone right now. Because the ego wants to feel right, which means someone else has to be wrong. But this need to feed the ego creates more of the separation that we are seeing all over the world. If I am so easily willing to write off 59 million Americans as "deplorables," then I am part of the problem. People that voted for Donald Trump are going through something that I don't understand. I've been so focused on my own pain that I haven't acknowledged that ALL people are hurting. For us to say that all Trump supporters are racist (or xenophobic or homophobic, etc) is the same as Trump saying that Mexicans are rapists and Muslims are terrorists. There is something more going on here. I have a hunch that we need some collective, deep healing to occur. If we are truly one, then Trump is a version of all of us. Regardless of who you voted for, I hope we can all agree that we have heard Trump say some terrible and disgusting things. I too have thought, said and done some terrible and disgusting things in my life. It's not excusable, but I do know that the more we spread hate, the more we become hate. If all we throw at Donald Trump is hate, we're going to get hate back. That's simple and inevitable. Love is a choice. In this case, it may be the harder choice. Choosing to love the bully on the playground is a choice. Choosing to love a bully in the White House is a choice. We can raise the vibration of love or we can raise the vibration of hate. We can come together or we can separate. It would be much easier to separate. So I challenge all of us to consider, what if we all cared more about loving each over being right? I encourage you to go out and find someone that doesn't agree with you on most things (maybe this Thursday over dinner?) and have a conversation with that person. Most importantly, I dare you to not judge them. Ask questions based on your own curiosity so that you can see from someone else's perspective. Allow your desire to understand someone else be stronger than your desire to be right. Isn't this the respect we seek from others? If so, we need to positively engage first. Listen, without formulating an opinion while the other person is talking. Truly listen to and understand another person and then they may want to understand you back. This is the time to rise up and live as an example of what yoga can do. We have been presented with an opportunity to grow and become even better versions of ourselves. I am excited for the opportunity to have uncomfortable conversations, to express my gratitude for my privilege in every moment of every day and to be a voice for the voiceless. The last piece of this is action. We have serious work to do. No one's going to do it for us. If you are ready to start participating, here are some simple and effective things you can do today and every day, regardless of who you voted for: Google "congressmen + your state" and you can easily find a state representative to contact. Tell them your concerns. Ask for what you want. Donate or volunteer with a credible organization that is working for what you believe in. Do one self-care thing every day. Even if it's just meditating for three minutes. We must make daily self-care a non-negotiable if we expect to lead by example. In a couple days, when you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner at a table with a group of people that might very well represent the divide that we are currently seeing in this country, I hope you all take time to go around the table and say what you are grateful for. When I'm having a hard time loving someone, I remember my gratitude and eventually, love naturally flows. We are not denying or ignoring the injustices that we are seeing, we are navigating a different way of approaching these injustices so that positive change can take place. And it's going to take a lot of time and patience. We didn't create this mess quickly. We can't clean it up quickly. You're not going to change anyone's politics over Thanksgiving dinner. But you can get to know your loved one a little bit better, learn something and then translate that knowledge into loving action. "Love with no boundaries. Your future depends on your capacity to love." ~ Paulo Coehlo